Susanne Jager is a certified antenatal teacher and birth educator. Susanne offers birth preparation courses in Stavanger and 1:1 support. She always she leads with love, compassion and healing. She is passionate about supporting new mothers through pregnancy and the 4th trimester. You can find her website at natalwisdom.org
In this guest blog post she tells a story about part of her own transition to motherhood. It is a reminder that not only is it normal for us to worry about our babies but also that it is important for us to seek support and reassurance.
I would like to share with you a little story that I will never forget as for me it marks my introduction into motherhood. I was at the hospital, and it was night. That same day, early in the morning my daughter, my first child, was born. My daughter was sleeping beside me in the bed. Not only was I looking full adoration at this little creature, but I was also listening to the noises she was making. I had no idea that a little newborn baby would be making so much noise. It was a mixture of some sort of peeping sound, a sound that made me think of the Gremlins (from the movie from the ‘80s) and sounds of a very irregular breath. And then, from time to time it would be silent. A long pause. And I would be looking even closer at her, checking whether everything was okay. Did she just stop breathing? But then a big sigh would follow, and the noises would start again. Thankfully, she was still breathing.
After this had repeated several times, thoughts of worry started slipping into my mind. The pauses in her breathing seemed to take forever (probably just seconds in reality). Is she maybe asthmatic? Is there a problem with her lungs? Maybe she is very weak, and breathing is too difficult for her? Is it possible that she stops breathing completely? Even if I tried to calm myself down, and convince myself that all was fine, these worrying thoughts would not stop but only got worse. Until I came to the point of pressing the button to call for a nurse.
Soon a nurse appeared by my bed, and I explained her the situation and asked her to have a listen to my daughter’s sounds and irregular breathing. I could see straight away that this was not something that seemed worrying to her at all, and after she had observed my daughter for a little while, she assured me that everything was totally fine, and that she was a healthy thriving baby. As soon as she told me this, I felt a bit silly that I had been calling for a nurse, because indeed my daughter looked totally fine actually. So apologetically I explained to her that I got a bit frightened by the long pauses and that I started to worry whether she would maybe stop breathing altogether.
The nurse looked at me with full compassion and said to me: Yes, I totally understand. It is okay to be afraid. Welcome to motherhood!
